![]() ![]() ![]() I still wake up sometimes in the middle of the night and think “What if I’m wrong about God accepting me just the way I am?” But in those times, it’s the supportive community around me that gives me strength. I wish I could say that I had overcome all self-doubt, but I haven’t. I sent the letter not knowing if she would respond. In it I told her I was a 16 year old high school student from California who knew she was a lesbian, but who was afraid that God didn’t love her anymore because of it. In a flurry of excitement, I pulled out my best stationary and wrote Beth Stroud a letter. Intrigued, I read her story and was inspired by her bravery. One day when I was mulling through articles online in search of some source of guidance, I came across a news article about a minister named Beth Stroud from Germantown, Pennsylvania who was defrocked by the UMC. I was overcome with fear and anger, and I had no place to put it or the tools to work through it. I also struggled with God for not freeing me from these feelings and for what I thought was abandonment. I struggled with my church for turning me away when I told the leadership my truth. I struggled to find meaning in a world that now seemed incredibly frightening and confusing. Needless to say when I began to come into myself and contemplated coming out, I struggled. Up until that point I saw myself as a good Christian, and being a good Christian definitely didn’t include being a lesbian.Īt least that is what I was told by my pastor and my family. At 16 I found myself there when I started questioning my sexuality. When I heard her words I started thinking of rough chapters in my life when I didn’t know when the sun would shine again. ![]() So I never feel like I’ve had no help I’ve had rainbows in my clouds. Come with me, I need you now.” Long dead, you see. I say “Come with me, I’m going on the stage. I’ve had a lot of clouds, but I have had so many rainbows….And one of the things I do when I step up on the stage…I bring everyone who has ever been kind to me. Imagine.” And I’d had so many rainbows in my clouds. It says, “When it look like the sun wasn’t’ gon’ shine anymore, God put a rainbow in the clouds. There’s an African American song that’s 19 th century-it’s so great. Angelou seemed to be a favorite amongst others: As Maya Angelou passed this May, many of my friends and family took to social media to honor her life. ![]()
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